CLIMATE CATASTROPHE RRRSPPs

CLIMATE CATASTROPHE RRRSPPs

The environment is THE top #1 priority RRRSPP! The world is about to end, and only Ryan the Renegade Rhino is brave enough to put forward bold solutions to save us from the fiery inferno death that awaits us!

  1. Exterminate all ants: Ants produce 10x the CO2 of all human activity.
  2. Ban agriculture: Agriculture accounts for about 10% of all human CO2 production. Instead, people can eat vitamins. (See my Healthcare RRRSPP.)
  3. Ban industry: Dirty capitalism produces about 23% of CO2. If we ban industry, we’ll live, otherwise we’ll all die. Also, this takes care of the “fight for 15” issue as nobody needs to work anymore. (See my Jobs RRRSPP for more.)
  4. Exterminate all animals: Animal agriculture causes about 14% of CO2, so killing all animal life on Earth will certainly reduce the amount of CO2 produced by orders of magnitude. Probably by around 1,400,000,000% as far as we can estimate.
  5. Create bases on the Moon and Mars: If we move all of humanity to other planets and moons, we’ll have no worries about humans screwing up planet Earth. We can screw up other places instead! Elon Musk, you’d better have my back on this one!
  6. Make water illegal: Water vapour is the #1 green house gas (GHG). Making water illegal will greatly reduce global warming and with any luck, return us to an ice age. 
  7. Nuke all plant life on Earth: Plants are the major consumers of CO2, so nuking them all will eliminate demand, which will cause the suppliers of CO2 to go bankrupt due to lack of demand. 
  8. Seal all volcanoes: Volcanoes are one of the major producers of CO2. By sealing them with bee’s wax, we can cannibalize bee colonies and thus eradicate bees that pollinate plants that are CO2 consumers, and thus get 2 birds stoned at the same time:
    1. We help kill plants, so we need to use fewer nukes (see #7 above)
    2. We stop volcanoes from emitting CO2

None of the other sissy parties are willing to do what it takes to save peoplekind.

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