I was mulling over a few ideas about writing an actual Terms & Conditions, and figured I’d throw up a quick draft. So, here’s the “Cop eRights Terms and Conditions Addendum” for your entertainment. (It could likely use a good amount of work, but this is still good for a possible chuckle/groan.)
Cop eRights Terms and Conditions Addendum
Version 0.1, 2014-06-02
Copyright 2014 Cynic.me
Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim copies of this document, but changing it is not allowed.
PREAMBLE
The “Cop eRights Terms and Conditions Addendum” is an addendum that may be attached to any existing “Terms and Conditions” or similar usage license or policy.
To add the Cop eRights Terms and Conditions Addendum to your Terms and Conditions, simply copy and paste it below your Terms and Conditions or otherwise link to a copy of the Cop eRights Terms and Conditions Addendum.
COP ERIGHTS TERMS AND CONDITIONS ADDENDUM
0. Definitions.
“This Addendum” refers to version 0.1 of the Cop eRights Terms and Conditions Addendum.
“The Parent Terms and Conditions” refers to the Terms and Conditions to which this Addendum is attached.
“The Service” refers to the service for which the Parent Terms and Conditions apply.
“Cop” means anyone or any computer employed in any facet of law enforcement.
“Government Welfare Whore” means anyone that directly or indirectly receives any form of remuneration or payment from any government or state. This includes subcontractors and government supported businesses, organisations and agencies that accept any form of remuneration, payment, subsidy, fee, grant, loan, aid, endowment, allowance, bounty, contribution, gift, reward, tribute, assistance or other financial or material consideration or that benefit from government legislation or regulation.
1. Permissions.
Permission to access any information, resource or service provided by the Service is explicitly forbidden for all Cops and all Government Welfare Whores, with the single exception of this Addendum for which permission to access this Addendum is given to access this Addendum one time and one time only; subsequent access to this Addendum is explicitly denied. Use of or access to the Service by any Cop or Government Welfare Whore constitutes theft of services and is a criminal offense punishable by fines and/or incarceration.
This revocation of permission in this Addendum supercedes any permission, explicit or implied, in the Parent Terms and Conditions.
None of this Addendum is intended to apply to anyone who is neither a Cop nor a Government Welfare Whore.
I hope it got a few smiles out there. Or that it sent a few people into a foaming at the mouth, profanity laden rage. Either works for me!